A farmer rushed to his phone one day to report that his nearest neighbor’s
house was on fire. He
promptly called 911 to report the fire. In the calmest voice he could
muster, he reported the fire
was at his neighbor’s house two miles down the road. The dispatcher asked
“How do we get
there?” The farmer hesitated a few seconds then asked, “Don’t you guys have
those big red trucks anymore?”
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Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, “As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children.” St. Peter lets him enter.
The next doctor says, “As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives.” St. Peter tells him to go ahead.
The last man says, “I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care.”
St. Peter replies, “You may enter. But,” he adds, “you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell.”
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An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.
The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.
The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
“Why a thermos bottle?” the others asked.
“Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.”
“Yes — so what?”
“Think about it.” said the mystic reverently. That little bottle — how does it know?”
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Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doc, it isn’t all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don’t want to miss the 4 o’clock cricket game.
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Ye Zane rashti mire doctor va mige:
aghaye doctor man nemidonam chera hamash hamele misham! shayad chizi to hava bashe ke baes mishe!?
Doctore ye negai be zane mikone va mige:
are azizam ye chizi to havast! lengaye to!
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