There were women waiting in a doctor’s office.
They started talking and one women said, “I’m going to have a girl because I was on the bottom last time and I had a girl. I was on the bottom again this time so I’m going to have another girl.”
One of the other ladies said, “I’m going to have a boy, I was on the top.”
The last lady started to cry. The two other ladies asked, ” Why are you crying?”
She replied, ” I’m going to have puppies!!!”
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A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, ” Mom, I have something to tell you: I’m gay.”
His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she’d heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, “You’re gay — doesn’t that mean you put other men’s penises in your mouth?”
The guy said nervously, ” Uh, yeah, Mom, that’s right.”
His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, “Don’t you EVER complain about my cooking again!!”
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Two Gays are standing on a bridge watching ships pass by underneath them.
One says to the other…”What kind of ship is that?” “Container ship.”
“OK, what’s that one over there?” “Oil Tanker.”
“How about that one?” “That’s a ferry boat.”
“Really? I knew we were strong, but I never knew we had our own NAVY!”
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A gay couple had been partnered for 25 years and was celebrating the 60th birthday of one of them. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.
The one who was giving the party said, “We’ve blown all our money on parties and fine dining and decorating this house, I’ve never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world.”
The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He had the tickets in his hand.
Next, it was the birthday boy’s turn. He paused for a moment, and then with a sly grin said, “Well, I’d like a boyfriend 30 years younger than me.”
The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
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Two gay guys are going at it. After they finish, one turns to the other and says “Hey, I feel something in my ass … see if you can feel anything.” So his boyfriends puts his finger in his ass and feels around. “I don’t feel anything”,the boyfriend says. So the first guy says, “No deeper…I’m sure I feel something”.
So the boyfriend put his hand in the guys ass and feels around. “I’m telling you there is nothing there” says the boyfriend. “No really”, the guys says, “I can feel it, look deeper.” So the boyfriend puts his whole arm in the guys ass and is feeling around when he touches something.
“Hey, I found something,”says the boyfriend. “Well take it out,” says the guy. The boyfriend pulls his hand out of the guys ass, looks at it and see’s it is a Rolex. The guy starts singin, “Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you……”
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